Delicacies

Last night I was strolling along Soi Cowboy to see what all the fuss is about (for those interested in one of the more popular reasons to visit Bangkok, check out the Soi Cowboy details at http://www.bangkokbob.net/cowboy.htm; be warned: you might have to go to confession afterwards). Minding my own business, I came across a food cart that sold some of the more interesting regional delicacies. (Fortunately, my sister Stefanie shared with me the "Amazing Race" episode that was filmed in Thailand, so I was somewhat prepared for what I saw.) Hundreds of crispy fried grasshoppers and waterbugs were all arranged on the food cart for your snacking pleasure. When I saw the hippies devouring a bowl of fried crickets to get ahead on the show, I had thought to myself I could probably eat one, just to see what it tastes like. Now, I'm having second thoughts. I think it was displaying the waterbugs (you know, those bugs that look like huge cockroaches) right next to the crickets that made me reconsider. Waterbugs for a snack--disgusting!

The Thai Massage

I would like to start by saying that this is a perfectly G-rated recount of a perfectly G-rated experience (sorry boys). Although at times my narrative may sound like it is headed down a slightly salacious path, this was not a happy ending massage.

That being said, after school today I decided to get one of these famous Thai massages I keep hearing about. There is a legitimate massage parlor in my apartment building and the price is unbelievable. Since I neglected to say I wanted an hour massage, I received the two hour traditional Thai massage for $8. That's right--$8.

My masseuse, a petite Thai woman, directed me over to a bench with some spigots and washed my feet. Afterwards, she gave me a pair of slippers and some baggy pajamas. She then led me down a row of curtained areas. She opened the curtains to reveal a small space with a twin mattress on the floor and a pillow. There was also a small table but that was it. She told me to change my clothes.

This whole thing seemed a little illicit to me. It would have been different if I was in a room with solid walls but instead I was in an area that was only separated by curtains on both sides. In addition, there was a man getting a massage five feet from me behind a measly curtain, so if he was getting a happy ending massage, I would definitely hear all about it. I felt a little strange disrobing in such conditions. And then, the "baggy" pajama top wasn't so baggy. The shirt was definitely Thai-sized (a term that applies to most things in this country). When the woman came back, I asked her for a larger shirt. I think she laughed when she saw how ill-fitting the shirt was.

Once I was all outfitted for my two hours of massage, I laid down. The mattress was on top of a padded mat directly on the floor, which is different from the tables you lay down on in the States. Even so, I was still expecting this to be similar to the massages I received state side; maybe a little different technique but more or less the same. Boy, was I wrong. To get a good idea of what a Thai massage is like, think of a medium sized child taking slow and deliberate steps all over your body. Or imagine a butcher tenderizing a (large) piece of beef. Or of the contortionists you see at the circus. Or yoga. Or of a masochistic person who asks people to torture him (the last one is a slight exaggeration, but not by much). The massage I experienced was a combination of all these activities. As I lay there, being pulverized by this waif of a woman, I surmised that tomorrow I will resemble a water color painting with fresh bruises all over my body. A symphony of blue, brown, and purple.

Not that all of these shenanigans were unbearable. The strange thing about this is that in addition to being physical painful at times, it also felt incredibly good. The even stranger thing is that she put me in positions I have never dreamed of (and I have a pretty vivid imagination).
Now, the proximity of this strong but little woman was a bit disconcerting. I know massages are a fairly intimate activity, but this went beyond intimate. Normally, when someone gets as close to me as she did, I am in a relationship with that person that at least involves some kissing (if you catch my drift). She did not just use her hands to massage me either; she used her forearms, elbows, knees, thighs, and feet. At times, my foot would be positioned between her legs. That is an awkward place to be; a toe wiggle can totally be misconstrued. Another time she was behind me pressing down with her forearms on my shoulders, and pressing forward with her knees into my back. The next position felt really good but it was bizarre--I was laying on my back and she parted my legs from each other. She sat inbetween my feet and bent one of my legs at the knee so that it pointed out. Holding on to that foot, she put both of her feet on my inner thigh, held my other leg at the knee with her other hand, leaned back and pushed on my thigh with her feet to stretch my leg. At another point, she was standing on my butt and did something that resembled a jig (she definitely wasn't lacking a proper foothold in that position). Another time she had straddled my backside while she worked on my back and shoulders. I felt like I should at least be meeting her parents or something.

The event ended with me on my back, my head nestled on a pillow in her lap. She gave me a gentle facial massage, applying small amounts of pressure to my temples and forehead. She ran her hands all over my face. Then she put her hands in my hair and gave my scalp a massage, alternating between relaxing and invigorating (I would have paid $8 just for that part). Based on the previous exertions, I thought she might pull my hair, but that didn't happen. I sat up and she worked on my neck and back a little bit more before sending me on my way.

Afterwards, I felt like a rag doll that had been thrown around a little bit. I didn't really want to get up and get dressed. I think they should dress you after something like that or just let you fall asleep on the mattress for a little while. Next time I go, I think I will opt for the hour foot massage. I don't think I will feel as spent afterwards.

Vegetation, monks, and other random information

Granted, I am living in a tropical area; maybe because it is so urban I did not anticipate all of the lush greenery. Plants and flowers are everywhere. It doesn't look like people had to expend much energy to make such beautiful landscape, either; it is almost as if the flowers and huge green plants just appear, the way wisteria and kudzu grow in Virginia. The picture of the little pond and falling fountain is the backyard of one of the teachers at my school. She and her husband are currently housesitting for another couple who is away for the year. The house has one of those outdoor kitchens, where the burners and all are on the back patio, next to this verdant landscaping. I think I would be more inclined to cook in such a setting. The other picture of plants and the fountain up against a building is at my school--I get to walk by it everyday!

Another picture taken at school is the one of the miniature temple which is located inside the front gate. I'm not sure exactly what it is called, but it is a place where people make offerings to ensure that the school comes to no harm. People light insence and leave fruit or water for offerings. These mini temples can be see all over Thailand.

So can monks. They are easy to spot because they are usually bald and wear a large orange cloth tied about them, almost in a toga-like fashion. They do not wear shoes and they have religious tattoos on their bodies. Apparently, they wake up very early and go to bed very early. They do not eat after 11am, so they must eat all their food in the morning. They are not allowed to buy or prepare their own food; they must ask for food and accept it from generous people. Many people provide for them because they believe in karma (what goes around, comes around). There is a monk that walks by our bus stop most mornings, a very solemn sight. One of the Thai ladies I work with bows to him with her hands folded together and held up to her forehead when he walks by. Buddism is prevelant everyway; it is not a religion but a way of life.

I tried to take some pictures of my students but was met with much hiding of faces behind books and moving to get out of the camera's path. I thought they were just extremely shy; it was explained to me that because of spiritual beliefs, some people think if you take a picture of them, you take a part of their soul. I will refrain from taking pictures of the locals.

I have spoken with a few expats (people from other countries living in Thailand) and inevitably they ask me about America. These have been people from England, India, Italy. They ask me what is it like to be an American, how do I feel about American politics, the president, Bushisms. I laugh before I give a short answer (you all know me so you can imagine what I said).

The subservience, in women especially, is something I am having a hard time adjusting to. At a luncheon held at Dr. Lalima's and Dr. John's apartment, the lady who cleans and cooks for them was passing around a tray of food. In doing this, she would kneel down next to you as she waited for you to take what you wanted. I went downtown to the Royal Orchid Sheraton for drinks on Friday and in the bar, the beautiful waitress, wearing an off the shoulder silk number, kneeled next to me while she poured my wine. I think my first impulse was to ask her to get up off her knees. What are you doing down there? It's almost embarrassing. I know that it is merely a gesture of respect; your head is not supposed to be higher than anyone you are showing respect too. I would never be able to waitress over here; up down, up down--my knees would just give out after an hour of pouring wine and serving food. Snap-crackle- pop, oops, that was just my knees. Sorry to disturb your meal...


The food has been fabulous. Of course you have to over look the fact that eggs are not refrigerated here. Not even at the grocery store. The food stalls are quick, easy, and cheap. So far I have not been sick. It helps that I do not have a sensitive stomach, unlike some people I know...Eating at first was a challenge in that knives are not an option. At every meal, a spoon and fork are provided. It is considered rude to put the fork to your mouth, so you more or less use the fork along with the spoon to pull your food apart and then push the food with the fork onto the spoon for the quick trip up to the mouth. This was awkward at first, but now it is more or less habit. Some Westerners always use a fork, but I don't want to appear gauche.

Large bills are hard to change here. A 1000 Baht (about $27) cannot usually be changed at a food stall or a taxi. This can be awfully inconvenient. I took a taxi downtown last week and was charged 81 Baht (about $2) and all I had was a 1000 Baht. The taxi driver could not change it and I didn't speak Thai so he didn't understand me when I said to wait while I went into McDonalds to change it (sidenote: they have pineapple pies here instead of apple; yummy!). When I came back out, he was gone. I was afraid he would hunt me down and be very upset with me. However, when I was walking up the drive to my apartment after school a couple days later, there he was. He was just smiling and nodding his head as I smiled back. When I realized who he was I walked over and asked him if he was the one I didn't pay. He smiled, pointed to his car, and said BTS, which is where he had dropped me off. I paid him and felt really silly. Always carry small bills.

The First Day of School

I survived the first day of school. It always seems to be a crazy rush at the end to get ready, but then everything falls into place and goes well. I have 56 students which is amazing! A little explanation: we are on an alternating block schedule which means classes meet every other day for ninety minutes. There are separate Literature and Language Arts classes (I teach both) so I end up seeing all of the 7th graders every day. The other teachers on my team teach 7th and 8th grade and have twice as many students. I kind of like my set-up.

At my school, the teachers go by their first names because the last names are too difficult for the students, most of them English as a second language learners. So I am Ms. Michelle. That is going to take a little getting used to. And since the students' names are too difficult for the Western teachers, the students all go by nicknames that their parents picked for them. How difficult are their names? Some of the first names are Tanakorn, Tsun-Hong, Kuo-wei; a sample of the last names includes Phongsiripornchai, Ruangrattanathavorn, Sricharaonpong. Needless to say, I am thankful for the nick names. However, the nicknames pose a problem, too. Some of the names just make me laugh: Puh-ting, Ting Ting, Ping Ping, CoCo, M, Mini, Tong, Kanit, Fon (pronounced phone), New, Aim, Boss, Jell, Mint. I'm kind of glad Titi didn't show up today as I don't know how I will be able to say that one with a straight face.

Even though the students are in uniforms and they are all Asian, they are still 7th grade students. All the boys sat together and all the girls sat together. I guess boys still have cooties in the 7th grade? There is a lot of energy in the hallways between bells. They definitely smell like 7th graders (maybe more so because of the humidity and unaircondioned hallways). What struck me most about my new students is how quiet they are. Soft spoken is an understatement. I hope this will change some because I know they will get sick and tired of having me ask them to repeat themselves over and over again.

There are two circumstances I will have a hard time adjusting to. One: there are six floors in the building. We had to climb five flights of stairs to get to the morning assembly in the new gym. This was fine for the kids; it probably took me five minutes to get my breath back once we were arrived. (Luckily, my classroom is on the second floor.) Two: we have to drop off what we want copied. This is a good and bad thing; good because I don't have to do it but bad because I have to get better about planning ahead. Not always my best quality.

Lunch time makes up for both of those small inconveniences. Everyone gets a 45 minute lunch. Yes, 45 minutes. This is insane, and I feel a little guilty about having that much time to consume my food. It almost feels unnatural to take my time and enjoy what I am eating. Not to mention, eating in the cafeteria is like being at the food court. I had Japanese food for lunch. I ordered (by pointing) at a rolled rice concoction of some sort, the kind with meat in the middle and rice rolled around it. The lunch lady took the rolled up rice thing, sliced it into smaller pieces, placed it on a plate, and put a drop of sauce on each slice. I also ordered crispy pork with rice. She sliced up my pork, drizzled it with a yummy sauce and handed me the plate. And then I went over and ordered a Thai tea, but I could have had limeade, Chai tea, or iced coffee. All of this for $1.62. I would recommend my school to anyone on the cafeteria and lunch break alone.

I think a nap is in order.

The Chatuchak Weekend Market

Saturday morning, some of the returning teachers, took us on a field trip to the largest market in Bangkok. We took taxis down to the Sky Train station (more or less an above ground subway) and then took the train to the last stop by Chatuchak Park.
This market is over 28 acres of little stalls with people selling their wares, a serious sensory overload. I walked around for three hours and at the end I felt like I would literally drop. It is this crazy maze of everything you could possibly imagine. At one point, I didn't know if I would be able to find my way out from the middle of it. There were books, baskets, animals, glass, clothes, furniture, purses and jewelry, fabric, art, antiques, silk flowers, shoes, plants, food, dishes, wall hangings...endless amounts of merchandise. You are supposed to bargain, but I didn't do very well at that. I think I need to improve my language skills before I am confident enough to really haggle. I will probably be spending quite a bit of time at the market.

For lunch I ordered a fried spicy shrimp and mango salad, with rice of course. The shrimp was fried with the shells on. I couldn't imagine sacrificing all of the yummy fried part to peel off the shells. And I didn't know if I would look like a stupid farang (foreigner) if I peeled them, so I ate the whole thing. It was tasty, but I was pulling shells out of my teeth and gums for much of the afternoon.

Driving down on the train, I had my first look at downtown Bangkok. Wow. It is quite a city. I am looking forward to exploring everything. Eventually.

My Groovy Studio Apartment

My apartment here is much nicer than the one in Richmond, and it's only $300 a month. It was a good idea to choose an apartment before I arrived because it freed up my time the first week so that I could rest and recover from the flight. Unlike some of my colleagues, my apartment had everything I needed. The landladies, Nat and Baby (they are sisters) are incredibly nice. Moving in was like taking over an apartment that someone just left--there was toilet paper, paper towels, sheets, pillows, bedspread, phone and electricity connected, silk flower arrangements, rugs, towels, soap, milk, coffee, sugar, noodles. Everything I needed was here.

Park Land, the apartment complex, is pretty large. There are at least thirteen towers which are built around a huge pool, courtyard with walking paths, and a basketball court. There are two restaraunts, post office, pharmacy, convenience store, coffee shop, massage parlor, hair dresser, gym, and laundry facilities. When I walk out of the gate, there are taxis lined up and motos for hire. Also, right outside of the gate there is a line of vendors that sell beverages, fresh fruit, sausages, rice dishes, beer, and other food that I haven't figured out yet.

Reality: Bangkok

I am now a resident of Bangkok. I arrived in the wee hours of the morning a week ago, and the picture to the left was my first glimps of my surroundings from the hotel balcony. The past week has been a whirlwind of activity--from getting settled in my apartment, learning essential Thai phrases, recognizing different foods and learning about new ones, buying a cell phone from someone who only speaks Thai, navigating public transportation, and meeting dozens of Western teachers, both new and returning. The returning teachers have been fabulous about orienting the newbies to Thailand. Last week we had dinner together most nights at different places around town. Many of the places are similar to courtyards without walls surrounding it. There is usually a ceiling of sorts but everything else is very open. Eating at Anna Garden was like being in a jungle, plants all around.

I want to take a Thai class so that I can speak to people beyond "hello" and "thank you." However, speaking Thai is not mandatory as most of the time you can get by with a Thai word or two, gestures, and pointing. I don't like communicating this way though. I walk to really talk with people, ask them how they are, what their name is, how old their children are.